Blooming flower

I have given more than I have ever owned; Mind, Body, and Soul Doubt lies within my efforts, Doubt in the worth of my kindness Spreading myself thin in order to fill the empty spaces Harboring the worry that I ask of too much from this world Will the deep care that I have shared be reciprocated? Or have I exaggerated the intent of my actions? I have given every last inch of myself in the search for the feeling of belonging, I must be too far gone

Analyzing the words as I speak Years of unheard hurt and resilience scarcely piled up on the verge of tipping, Waiting for a chance to be felt in full. They live in a box with holes through the top to let the air in, leaving no room for expression. 

There is irony in your sad eyes  Empty promises leave your mouth drooling with sideways truths  The one you tore your heart out for would never sew it shut Still, you sit in regretful self pity with a mask over your face, mourning a loss that was always sure to come  Ripping your flowers from her neglected soil, destroying the foundation from the roots of the one you once loved Blind to the true pain you have caused, with not a sliver of empathy  

 

Poisonous words disguised as happiness burrow under my skin Projecting self hate and jealousy I was made to believe were my own Walking down a path of self destruction convinced it was the only way to go  All the while being consumed by your darkness with each and every step I took Having mistook your poison for patience and love Allowing you to replace my virtue with ash and bone  I am no longer the soul I once was, I roam in search of my long lost Pixie dust

She lost her mind to find herself Oblivious to the possibility of losing you Carefully piecing it all together, Mixing emotions and memories with seemingly endless meanings Leaving here with nothing but a cloud of confusion The love that was felt was true but the connection was mangled A perception malfunction that has caused damage to her being Traveling in imbalanced portions of time yearning for the ash to her fire Needing to feel something anything to fill the void